Self-esteem is learning to feel good from the inside out, not by comparing yourself to others. I’ll help you learn to feel better!
Many people come to New York City with dreams of finding fame and fortune.
Maybe your dream is to be featured in the business section of the New York Times as someone who’s found a way to revitalize print advertising.
Maybe your dream is to be the next great discovery in the arts.
Maybe your dream is to run a biotech start-up.
The possibilities are endless! Whatever your dreams are, you can feel good about yourself—whether or not those dreams come true—if your self-esteem is based on the things that matter.
Self-esteem: Better or Worse by Comparison?
Do you base your self-esteem on external factors, many of which are tied to numbers?
- number of degrees (from schools that are ranked high on someone’s list)
- dress size
- number of books published
- number of miles run per week
- number of children
- number of bedrooms/houses, etc.
So what’s the problem?
Well, here’s the problem: if someone standing next to you is taller, more accomplished, wealthier, more whatever (fill in the blank—it can be anything!), you feel inferior.
You may scout the room for someone who’s less accomplished, shorter, less fit, so you can feel superior.
Or you may have had your pay cut during the recession—and found that your self-esteem took a cut, too!
Or you feel good about yourself because your boss praised your work, or because someone you looked up to is now your friend, or because you won an award in your profession.
If your self-esteem is based on external factors, it’s going to be unstable—you’re up, you’re down, you’re superior, you’re inferior. And after awhile, that self-esteem roller coaster’s going to leave you feeling dizzy!
Self-esteem: An Inside Job
Can you imagine having self-esteem that’s not dependent on the people around you, or on external measures? Does that seem unrealistic? Feeling good from the inside out feels great! And I can help you achieve this through treatment. It’s not easy and it’s not quick, but it sure is worth learning how to do it, so you can feel good about yourself every day.
Remember: treatment improves self-esteem!
Diane Spear, LCSW-R, owns a private practice in the Union Square/East Village area of Manhattan (New York City). She specializes in anxiety, depression, couples, and parenting treatment, and has been helping people find the joy in everyday life since 1995. She is accepting new patients. To learn more about Diane, click here.