Do you find yourself saying some variation of “I could’ve had a V-8!” about the situations or choices you’ve made in your life? What does “I could’ve had a V-8!” mean, anyway? Poor decisions, or chronic lack of satisfaction? It’s an expression of a lack of satisfaction with what is. People who often feel that way experience many situations and … [Read more...]
Natural Networking
“I don’t know how to network” “Networking feels so fake” “I’m too shy to network.” Sound familiar? You know your business would improve if you networked, but you’re just too uncomfortable to try. (Read the “Comfort Zone” post to get a perspective on discomfort.) The truth is, anyone can benefit from networking. Natural … [Read more...]
Don’t Push the Panic Button!
One day I had an early morning flight, and in the rush I managed to leave my purse in the cab—which I realized as I saw it pull into the airport exit lane. I hadn’t taken the time to get a receipt, so I couldn’t even trace the cab. Luckily I had my phone in hand and had stashed my ID and debit card in the case. In my bag? A … [Read more...]
Finding the Humor in Everyday Life
My tagline is “Helping people find the joy in everyday life,” and a part of that involves being able to see and appreciate the humor in everyday life. In fact, I consider humor an important enough part of life that I even have a piece about developing a sense of fun on my website. A caterer friend was baking pastries for a large event and had … [Read more...]
Learning Impulse Control from David Mamet
Remember writer David Mamet’s statement from the previous two posts, that every scene in a play or film should answer three questions: Who wants what from whom? What do they do when they don’t get it? Why now? This week we’re dealing in a very loose way with the last question—“Why now?”—in looking at impulse control. How urgent is … [Read more...]
Learning Disappointment from “American Idol”
As mentioned in the previous post, writer David Mamet says that each scene in a play or film should answer three questions: Who wants what from whom? What happens if they don’t get it? Why now? This week we’re focused on the second question: what happens if you don’t get what you want? Do you keep trying? Shift your tactics a … [Read more...]
Dependency and Blame
Dependency and blame: Who wants what from whom? What happens if they don’t get it? Why now? These are the three questions that writer David Mamet says each scene in a play or film should answer. They’re questions I find myself asking in treating couples, as well. This post will deal with the first question. Why does someone want … [Read more...]
The Zany Henricksons of “Big Love”
Spoiler alert: If you haven’t watched the series finale of HBO’s “Big Love” yet, stop reading here! We come not to bury Bill Henrickson, but to praise him, or at least the wonderful HBO series, “Big Love,” in which he was the protagonist. I got HBO when my patients were asking what I thought of Dr. Melfi from “The Sopranos” and … [Read more...]
Finding a Therapist Online
When choosing a restaurant for a special occasion, I go online. I check the menu and prices on the restaurant website; browse the Menupages reviews to learn about the dining experience of other customers; and look up any New York Magazine or New York Times reviews. Finding a therapist online is somewhat different. If you’re looking for a … [Read more...]
