Spoiler alert: If you haven’t watched the series finale of HBO’s “Big Love” yet, stop reading here! We come not to bury Bill Henrickson, but to praise him, or at least the wonderful HBO series, “Big Love,” in which he was the protagonist. I got HBO when my patients were asking what I thought of Dr. Melfi from “The Sopranos” and … [Read more...]
Finding a Therapist Online
When choosing a restaurant for a special occasion, I go online. I check the menu and prices on the restaurant website; browse the Menupages reviews to learn about the dining experience of other customers; and look up any New York Magazine or New York Times reviews. Finding a therapist online is somewhat different. If you’re looking for … [Read more...]
Are You Doing All You Can?
Are you doing a little bit, a reasonable amount, or everything you can to boost your satisfaction in life, to reach your goals? Or are you doing nothing, as this baby is, and expecting other people to give you what you want in life. The baby has every right to expect that someone else will meet his or her needs. Adults will feel better by being … [Read more...]
Comfort Zone
“I know I could increase my business if I gave some presentations, but I’m not comfortable with public speaking.” “I’m nervous about showing my fiction to other people, so I could never take a writing workshop.” “I’m not comfortable meeting new people. How could I possibly go to a networking event?” Or go on a blind date. Or look for a new … [Read more...]
Quick Question! Is Love a Noun or a Verb?
A few years ago there was a recurring TV spot aimed at getting kids to be more active, with the tagline: “Verb: It’s what you do!” Many people I see in individual and couples treatment look at love as a noun. It’s something someone gives you—and usually the person isn’t giving you enough! But this post isn’t about grammar, … [Read more...]
Are You Checking the Boxes
Many people start treatment because they have a certain dissatisfaction in life. They look good on paper, but their successes feel empty. They’re checking the boxes in life: Ivy League degree(s)? Check! Fast-track career? Check! Attractive spouse? Check! 1500+SF apartment in a great neighborhood? Check! Children? … [Read more...]
Sustainable Relationships
A friend sent me a link to an interesting article by Tara Parker-Pope in the New York Times in response to my previous relationship post, “Is This the Right Person for Me?”. It discusses the premise that couples who have exposed each other to new experiences, thereby growing in ways that they would not have on their own, feel … [Read more...]
Is This the Right Person for Me? Wrong Question!
“Is this the right person for me?” How many times have you heard your friends ask this question when they’re dating someone? Or maybe you’ve asked it yourself. The answer is….(insert drumroll here): It’s the wrong question! The right question is “Am I the right person in this—or any—relationship?” Turn that magnifying … [Read more...]