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Diane Spear

licensed clinical social worker. Union Square & Greenwich Village, NYC therapist. 212-353-0295

Risk and resilience

notebook

The German intellectual Goethe is quoted as saying “The dangers of life are infinite, and among them is safety.” How’s that for an interesting paradox?! It’s certainly open to interpretation. I take it to mean that avoiding all risk can be dangerous to one’s enjoyment of life. With resilience, you don’t have to avoid all risk. What you … [Read more...]

November 28, 2022 Leave a Comment

What’s the Role of Worry and Anxiety in Your Life?

woman with her hand on her head

  I Worried By Mary Oliver I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the riversflow in the right direction, will the earth turn as itwas taught, and if not how shall I correct it? Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven,can I do better? Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrowscan do it and I am, … [Read more...]

November 14, 2022 Leave a Comment

How Much Is Enough?

a bag of money

How much is enough to be happy? I recently read an anecdote about authors Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller. They were both at a party hosted by a billionaire on Shelter Island. Vonnegut told Heller that their host made more money in one day than Heller had earned from all sales of his successful and well-loved novel Catch-22 throughout its history. … [Read more...]

October 25, 2022 Leave a Comment

Winning Is Everything! Or Is it?

person jumping in the air celebrating

Do you argue a lot? Or correct people in conversations? Do you ever find yourself in a disagreement with your partner or someone else about something completely trivial and you just want to win? It doesn’t even have to be about anything important, and you may even ask yourself, “What the hell am I doing?!” but you’re committed to the fight. You … [Read more...]

October 3, 2022 Leave a Comment

HBO’s ”Succession”: What Can We Learn from These Flawed Characters?

succession hbo character

One of my favorite series in recent years is HBO’s drama “Succession,” about the Roy family, led by the hugely flawed and highly successful aging patriarch Logan Roy. He is a media and entertainment mogul much like Rupert Murdoch. Logan is emotionally manipulative, pitting his adult children against each other to determine his successor. His moral … [Read more...]

August 31, 2022 Leave a Comment

Abracadabra: Poof! It’s Magical Thinking!

boy in a magician costume

I met the 12-year-old son of a friend many years ago. I tried to engage him in conversation and asked him what he liked to do when he wasn’t in school. Hang out with his younger brother. Play with his cat. Cook with his mom.  Eventually the conversation drifted to what ideas he had about things to do when he becomes an adult. He said he … [Read more...]

August 31, 2022 Leave a Comment

The Value of Friendship

friends hanging out outside

This blog post is the second one inspired by Kerri Grote, a woman who died of brain cancer. (Here’s the first one.)  Facing life challenges without a partner or children One of the things she wrote about in the letter she left for her friends was the message we get from society: We need a romantic partner who is the “love of our life.” I’ll quote … [Read more...]

August 8, 2022 Leave a Comment

The Importance of Therapy for Therapists

Sigmund Freud once said: “Anyone who wishes to practice analysis should first submit to be analyzed himself by a competent person.” The ideas in this post are important for people choosing a therapist and for therapists themselves. If you’re looking for a therapist, asking whether or not a therapist has been in treatment is an important and … [Read more...]

July 25, 2022 Leave a Comment

Are You a Good Listener? 5 Ways to Make Sure

How strong are your listening skills? Better yet, are you sure you know what strong listening skills look and sound like? Intentions matter, of course. But, in everyday life, what matters just as much is execution. You may have the desire to be a respectful, active, and validating listener. However, if that desire is not translated into action, … [Read more...]

April 4, 2022 Leave a Comment

Competition? Or Ambition!

What’s the difference between competition and ambition?  Let’s look at competition... A competition is between you and others. Someone’s going to win, and it better be you! So you compare yourself to others, looking over your shoulder to see who’s gaining on you, looking ahead to see who’s outpacing you. You find yourself hoping that he … [Read more...]

January 31, 2020 Leave a Comment

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Related Blog Posts

  • Risk and resilience

  • What’s the Role of Worry and Anxiety in Your Life?

  • How Much Is Enough?

  • Winning Is Everything! Or Is it?

  • HBO’s ”Succession”: What Can We Learn from These Flawed Characters?

  • Abracadabra: Poof! It’s Magical Thinking!

  • The Value of Friendship

  • The Importance of Therapy for Therapists

  • Are You a Good Listener? 5 Ways to Make Sure

  • Competition? Or Ambition!

  • Dealing with the death of a pet

  • Sexual Assault Survivors, Christine Blasey Ford, and Brett Kavanaugh

  • Logic: Joy Subtraction or Joy Addition?

  • Warming Up! A Psychotherapist Reviews “Lady Bird”

  • In the News: Quoted in November 13, 2017 Huffington Post article

  • “It’s Never Too Late to Reclaim Your Life!”

  • Is Life a Pie or an Ocean? An Abundance Mentality.

  • Suffering from Post-Election Blues? 10 Tips to Overcome It!

  • Treatment Improves Self-Esteem

  • A Sense of Fun Can Be Learned in Treatment!

  • Stop Trying!

  • Love and Connection: Oliver Sacks and Living Fully

  • True Joy: Alice Herz-Sommer

  • “Enlightened” Narcissists Return!

  • Hurricane Sandy and Coping Style

  • Caring What Others Think: Dependency and “The Newsroom”

  • Pay Attention vs. Seek Attention

  • The Geographical Fix vs. Therapy

  • What “Size” for Therapy: Long or Short?

  • HBO and Narcissism

  • “Enlightened” Superiority

  • Satisfaction or “I Could’ve Had a V-8!”

  • Finding the Humor in Everyday Life

  • Learning Impulse Control from David Mamet

  • Learning Disappointment from “American Idol”

  • Finding a Therapist Online

  • Are You Doing All You Can?

  • Comfort Zone

  • Are You Checking the Boxes

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  • Anxiety & Trauma
  • Depression
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