What’s the difference between competition and ambition? Let’s look at competition... A competition is between you and others. Someone’s going to win, and it better be you! So you compare yourself to others, looking over your shoulder to see who’s gaining on you, looking ahead to see who’s outpacing you. You find yourself hoping that he or she … [Read more...]
Dealing with the death of a pet
Why is dealing with the death of a pet so hard? Fluffy or Fido is just an animal, right? So what’s the big deal? Many people who didn’t grow up with pets often don’t understand and will say something insensitive: “Why are you so upset? Your dog died. It’s not like it’s your mother!” What's the big deal if a pet dies? Let's look at what pets … [Read more...]
Sexual Assault Survivors, Christine Blasey Ford, and Brett Kavanaugh
The Senate Judiciary hearings on the confirmation of Judge Brett Kavanaugh as a Supreme Court justice, including the televised testimony of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, in September 2018, returned the #MeToo issues of sexual assault survivors and those who have endured sexual harassment to the glare of the public spotlight. This testimony reactivated … [Read more...]
Logic: Joy Subtraction or Joy Addition?
A common concern voiced by patients starting treatment is that thinking things through, instead of living by impulse, leads to a boring life. In other words, logic is joy subtraction rather than joy addition. Another way they may say it is “I lead with my heart instead of my brain.” How do you lead? I have to believe that if leading with emotion … [Read more...]
Warming Up! A Psychotherapist Reviews “Lady Bird”
Lady Bird What gets in the way of warming up emotionally, especially to another person? In the film “Lady Bird,” Greta Gerwig’s November 2017 directorial debut, we see a mother and her teenage daughter driving back from touring colleges. They connect emotionally listening to an audio version of John Steinbeck’s Grapes of Wrath, then launch into a … [Read more...]
In the News: Quoted in November 13, 2017 Huffington Post article
I was quoted in the following article, question #9. 16 Questions To Ask On A First Date, According To Marriage Therapists Do you make your bed in the morning? By Brittany Wong Martin Dimitrov 3.1k If you’re an introvert ― or just hate small talk ― few things are more … [Read more...]
“It’s Never Too Late to Reclaim Your Life!”
“So, does everyone in the movie theater look like me?” I playfully asked the ticket taker. “Um, I’m not sure,” he said, answering carefully. On September 8, 2017, I saw “Year by the Sea,” a film (now available on Amazon and iTunes) about an older married couple, Joan and Robin. I had seen the film trailer the previous week and noticed the … [Read more...]
Is Life a Pie or an Ocean? An Abundance Mentality.
“My best friend got engaged, and I know I should be happy for him, but I can’t even find a woman who’ll go on more than four dates with me,” said a man in his mid-thirties. “My former co-worker got promoted. I had to clap for her and listen to all the congratulations when we went out, and then I had to buy a round of drinks. We graduated the same … [Read more...]
Suffering from Post-Election Blues? 10 Tips to Overcome It!
This post is intended to address what some people are calling post-election blues 2016. The post isn't partisan, but deals with psychology. It is about how to deal with things not going as you wish and how to calm your fears, wherever you fall on the political continuum, whether you are disturbed that Donald Trump is the … [Read more...]
Group Therapy
Group therapy is a wonderful “lab” for learning to relate. Group therapy is a powerful way to get helpful feedback in a safe environment. Forget whatever you’ve heard about group therapy and people shouting each other down. Not in the groups I run! I create a safe, warm, supportive environment where you learn to let down your guard and be … [Read more...]