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Diane Spear

licensed clinical social worker. Union Square & Greenwich Village, NYC therapist. 212-353-0295

Competition? Or Ambition!

What’s the difference between competition and ambition?  Let’s look at competition... A competition is between you and others. Someone’s going to win, and it better be you! So you compare yourself to others, looking over your shoulder to see who’s gaining on you, looking ahead to see who’s outpacing you. You find yourself hoping that he … [Read more...]

January 31, 2020 Leave a Comment

Dealing with the death of a pet

Why is dealing with the death of a pet so hard? Fluffy or Fido is just an animal, right? So what’s the big deal? Many people who didn’t grow up with pets often don’t understand and will say something insensitive: “Why are you so upset? Your dog died. It’s not like it’s your mother!” What's the big deal if a pet dies? Let's look at what pets … [Read more...]

January 29, 2020 2 Comments

Sexual Assault Survivors, Christine Blasey Ford, and Brett Kavanaugh

US Capitol building

The Senate Judiciary hearings on the confirmation of Judge Brett Kavanaugh as a Supreme Court justice, including the televised testimony of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, in September 2018, returned the #MeToo issues of sexual assault survivors and those who have endured sexual harassment to the glare of the public spotlight. This testimony reactivated … [Read more...]

October 14, 2018 Leave a Comment

Logic: Joy Subtraction or Joy Addition?

reason and emotion sign

A common concern voiced by patients starting treatment is that thinking things through, instead of living by impulse, leads to a boring life. In other words, logic is joy subtraction rather than joy addition. Another way they may say it is “I lead with my heart instead of my brain.” How do you lead? I have to believe that if leading with emotion … [Read more...]

January 8, 2018 Leave a Comment

Warming Up! A Psychotherapist Reviews “Lady Bird”

schoolgirl in front of building

Lady Bird What gets in the way of warming up emotionally, especially to another person? In the film “Lady Bird,” Greta Gerwig’s November 2017 directorial debut, we see a mother and her teenage daughter driving back from touring colleges. They connect emotionally listening to an audio version of John Steinbeck’s Grapes of Wrath, then launch into a … [Read more...]

November 20, 2017 Leave a Comment

In the News: Quoted in November 13, 2017 Huffington Post article

I was quoted in the following article, question #9. 16 Questions To Ask On A First Date, According To Marriage Therapists Do you make your bed in the morning? By Brittany Wong Martin Dimitrov 3.1k If you’re an introvert ― or just hate small talk ― few things are more … [Read more...]

November 19, 2017 Leave a Comment

“It’s Never Too Late to Reclaim Your Life!”

year by the sea women raising a toast

“So, does everyone in the movie theater look like me?” I playfully asked the ticket taker. “Um, I’m not sure,” he said, answering carefully. On September 8, 2017, I saw “Year by the Sea,” a film (now available on Amazon and iTunes) about an older married couple, Joan and Robin. I had seen the film trailer the previous week and noticed the … [Read more...]

September 20, 2017 Leave a Comment

Is Life a Pie or an Ocean? An Abundance Mentality.

sliced-pumpkin-pie

“My best friend got engaged, and I know I should be happy for him, but I can’t even find a woman who’ll go on more than four dates with me,” said a man in his mid-thirties. “My former co-worker got promoted. I had to clap for her and listen to all the congratulations when we went out, and then I had to buy a round of drinks. We graduated the same … [Read more...]

December 10, 2016 Leave a Comment

Suffering from Post-Election Blues? 10 Tips to Overcome It!

note-about-election

  This post is intended to address what some people are calling post-election blues 2016. The post isn't partisan, but deals with psychology. It is about how to deal with things not going as you wish and how to calm your fears, wherever you fall on the political continuum, whether you are disturbed that Donald Trump is the … [Read more...]

November 10, 2016 Leave a Comment

Treatment Improves Self-Esteem

confident-little-boy

  Self-esteem is learning to feel good from the inside out, not by comparing yourself to others. I’ll help you learn to feel better! Many people come to New York City with dreams of finding fame and fortune. Maybe your dream is to be featured in the business section of the New York Times as someone who’s found a way to revitalize … [Read more...]

October 28, 2016 Leave a Comment

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Related Blog Posts

  • “Succession” and Ambivalent Loss

  • Risk and resilience

  • What’s the Role of Worry and Anxiety in Your Life?

  • How Much Is Enough?

  • Winning Is Everything! Or Is it?

  • HBO’s ”Succession”: What Can We Learn from These Flawed Characters?

  • Abracadabra: Poof! It’s Magical Thinking!

  • The Value of Friendship

  • The Importance of Therapy for Therapists

  • Are You a Good Listener? 5 Ways to Make Sure

  • Competition? Or Ambition!

  • Dealing with the death of a pet

  • Sexual Assault Survivors, Christine Blasey Ford, and Brett Kavanaugh

  • Logic: Joy Subtraction or Joy Addition?

  • Warming Up! A Psychotherapist Reviews “Lady Bird”

  • In the News: Quoted in November 13, 2017 Huffington Post article

  • “It’s Never Too Late to Reclaim Your Life!”

  • Is Life a Pie or an Ocean? An Abundance Mentality.

  • Suffering from Post-Election Blues? 10 Tips to Overcome It!

  • Treatment Improves Self-Esteem

  • A Sense of Fun Can Be Learned in Treatment!

  • Stop Trying!

  • Love and Connection: Oliver Sacks and Living Fully

  • True Joy: Alice Herz-Sommer

  • “Enlightened” Narcissists Return!

  • Hurricane Sandy and Coping Style

  • Caring What Others Think: Dependency and “The Newsroom”

  • Pay Attention vs. Seek Attention

  • The Geographical Fix vs. Therapy

  • What “Size” for Therapy: Long or Short?

  • HBO and Narcissism

  • “Enlightened” Superiority

  • Satisfaction or “I Could’ve Had a V-8!”

  • Finding the Humor in Everyday Life

  • Learning Impulse Control from David Mamet

  • Learning Disappointment from “American Idol”

  • Finding a Therapist Online

  • Are You Doing All You Can?

  • Comfort Zone

  • Are You Checking the Boxes

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