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Diane Spear

licensed clinical social worker. Union Square & Greenwich Village, NYC therapist. 212-353-0295

Living Your Happily Ever After? Why Couples Counseling Matters Now

couples-therapyThere’s good news about individual therapy. For the vast majority of people, it no longer carries a stigma in many situations. If you tell someone you’re going to counseling, you’re likely to get praised for practicing self-care.

But what about couples counseling? Well, unfortunately, the progress is a little slower in that realm.

Studies show that couples will wait, on average, six years before accepting that they need help with a problem. Marriage therapy is still too often equated with marriage failure. However, even when you’re living your happily ever after, couples counseling matters. It can be the secret ingredient to keeping things flowing and feeling good.

6 Common Reasons Why Couples Go to Counseling

1. Fights About Money

This topic has always been at the top of such lists. In our post-pandemic lives, however, financial discussions feel even more pressure-filled.

2. Infidelity or Jealousy

These are major issues that impact trust and future planning. These issues will most definitely require some outside help.

3. The Same Old Fights — Over and Over

Without some input from a professional, it’s easy to slip into this ugly cycle. An objective supporter can shed light on unproductive relationship patterns. 

4. Major Life Changes

It’s important to build strong communication and a deep sense of commitment. Any of the following transitions could drive a wedge between you:

  • Loss of a loved one
  • Relocation
  • Injury or illness
  • Graduation, new job, retirement, etc.

5. Decreased Passion and Intimacy

This could be primarily about sex, a sign of “roommate syndrome.” Living together can get stale if you’re not doing the work to keep things fresh.

6. Divorce

You’ve already decided to split but want to keep things amicable. Couples counseling is indispensable for such a situation.

But What If Your Relationship Is Good?

You may be looking at the above list and feeling fortunate that it does not resonate. That’s wonderful! But, by now, you may be getting the message that it also does not rule out the need for maintenance. You probably already do preventative work on your body, your car, your home, etc. Why not use the same approach for the most important relationship in your life?

No matter how long you live or how long you stay together, you have opportunities to learn. You can learn more about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. This process is helped along by couples who view counseling as preservation of their good thing. For example:

Improved Communication and Listening Skills

The thing about communication is that you never finish learning. Life never stops evolving. Hence, you must learn to adapt quickly. You meet, you fall in love, you commit to each other. However, both of you will inevitably change. Healthy communication will be the bridge that spans all of your life transitions.

Enhanced Conflict Resolution

Conflict is normal and inevitable. The problems only arise when a couple can’t find productive ways to resolve these unavoidable differences. Since disagreements cannot be prevented, why not prevent any damaging fallout? Couples counseling is the ideal setting for such practice. You will never regret boosting your conflict resolution skills.

The Input of an Unbiased, Experienced Guide

You and your partner know what you know. But you’re unaware of what you don’t know! A seasoned therapist is here to help fill in the gaps. As a counselor who has the education and practical experience to support and challenge you, I’m well-positioned to identify patterns and habits that are currently invisible to you.

You Have Questions. Let’s Work Out the Answers Together.

There is no one perfect way to sustain a long-term relationship. Quite often, life together will leave you both looking for answers. As a counselor with vast experience working with couples, I can help both of you better understand your emotions, your experiences, and your bond. Read more about couples counseling, then reach out soon for a confidential consultation.

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