What makes a good life?
Is it lots of money? Good health? Professional success? A long-term relationship? These can be the components of a miserable life or a satisfying one. Why? Because a good life starts from the inside. I don’t mean physical health, because I’m sure you know people in peak health who are unhappy.
And you’ve at least heard of people who are terminally ill and are fully enjoying the time they have left. What makes the difference? An ability to find the joy in everyday life!
What does finding the joy in everyday life mean?
It’s not about having to have everything perfect in order to be satisfied. You know, the “I’ll-be-happy-when” syndrome: I’ll be happy when I lose ten pounds. Or own an apartment. Or get a big promotion. Or move to San Francisco. Or when I’m in a serious relationship. Or when my child gets into Yale. Or when my partner gets smart and starts doing things my way.
Those are all external things and situations, and you can be happy with them or miserable with them.
How about now, dealing with the people and situations in your life today? Do you know how to be happy? How to make yourself happy? Can you feel good about how you handle yourself, regardless of what the people in your life are doing? Or are you waiting for someone else or a situation to make you happy?
Counseling Can Help Ease Life’s Transitions
One gauge of a good life is satisfaction in love, work, and play.
You may be in transition and know that you’re missing satisfaction in one of these areas. Maybe a major relationship has ended through divorce, death of a loved one, or a bad breakup. Or relationships are just hard for you, whether it’s a dating relationship, a marriage, or relationships with parents, children, friends, clients, coworkers, or supervisors.
Or the transition in your love life may be a positive one: dating after a breakup, getting married, starting a family, beginning a new chapter with your partner when your children leave home.
Work is where you probably spend the majority of your time, so that if there’s a transition in your work life, it can affect the other areas of your life—positively, or negatively! I’ve helped many people with transitions to first jobs after college, work-life balance, leaving staff jobs to freelance, leaving the freelance world for staff jobs, negotiating the corporate ladder, scaling back from full-time corporate life to start a family, returning to part-time work or ramping up your career from part-time to full-time work when your children are older.
And what’s the point of working so hard if you don’t know how to have fun along the way, and you can’t relax at the end? That’s just a grind, not a fulfilling life! Remember above when I said that lots of money, good health, professional success, and a long-term relationship can be part of a wonderful life or a miserable one? Well, you can bring a sense of fun to your daily life, or a sense of dread and feeling burdened. Fun is an attitude, as well as an activity!
Maybe you “look great on paper”—you’ve checked all the boxes—but you’re not enjoying your life. Why aren’t you feeling as good as you “should”? Why don’t your insides match your outsides? What’s getting in the way? I can help you! This is something we’ll explore together through therapy, and this can make a big difference in your enjoyment of your life.
Counseling and Psychotherapy Can Improve Your Quality of Life
A variety of untreated issues can interfere with the quality of your life:
- Marriage and couples issues: “A child needs to be loved. An adult wants to love. Couples counseling helps you love more maturely.”
- Anxiety: “Anxiety is a small footprint on the mind. Anxiety treatment prevents it from becoming a rut that traps all other thoughts.”
- Depression: “Depression steals the good feelings from your day-to-day life and your memories. Depression treatment restores your energy and optimism to plan a better future.”
- Low self-esteem: “Self-esteem is learning to feel good from the inside out, not by comparing yourself to others. I’ll help you learn to feel better!”
- Career issues: “Hard work won’t guarantee the results you want, but it will improve your chances and you can feel good about yourself, regardless of the results.”
- Parenting concerns: “Parenting is uncharted territory for everyone. In counseling I’ll guide you through with compassion, humor, and skill.”
- Substance abuse: “If you deal with the behavior without confronting the underlying issues, you’re just switching chairs on a sinking ship. What does the behavior mean?”
- Trauma: “An early experience of trauma amplifies whatever difficulties you encounter afterward. This makes it hard to ‘bounce back’ from setbacks and disappointments. Trauma can be a factor in all of the issues listed above. I approach any trauma in a gentle, safe way, so that it’s talked about—not re-experienced.”
I’m here to help.
I’m a Union Square, NYC therapist providing individual, marriage counseling and couples counseling, and group therapy for older adolescents up through older adults with a wide range of issues. It’s a sign of strength to ask for help, and your call to me is the first step toward the satisfaction and enjoyment you’re looking for. Treatment’s not quick and it’s not easy, but it’s worth the time and effort to feel better!
Take a few minutes to read about my psychotherapy practice in the Union Square area of NYC. You’ll learn the difference between counseling and psychotherapy (I provide both), why we don’t just focus on the present in treatment, and why I emphasize the importance of reality in therapy. Then give me a call or send me an email if you’d like to schedule a counseling session. Let’s work together to help you find the joy in everyday life!